Beginning March 2, 2008, I shall no longer update this blog. Please visit Penstalker Blog at Wordpress in order to visit what I have to say about movies, technology, culture, faith, society, and anything under the sun. I still love to write my thoughts and publish them online. Leave your comments there and let me know what you think about those thoughts. It has been a good time with Blogdrive. I learned how to publish my thoughts, tinker with HTML and other web thingies. But then, I have decided to take advantage of the good features of Wordpress that are better than Blogdrive. I have also taken the liberty of joining Technorati. Technorati Profile

Whew, I just feel so sleepy I couldn't write effectively. The words just won't come. But if they do, I feel they aren't enough to keep me going till I complete my writing projects for today. I need to finish around 20 articles more and I couldn't keep my head straight anymore. I need another jolt of coffee perhaps, or maybe I need to take a nap first. 

A friend referred me to Bux.to, a website that allows you to view ads and get paid in the process. The pay is not that high. You get paid $0.01 for every ad that you view. But it can accummulate in time. I think it might be a good idea to simply view several ads everyday until I can earn several dollars. The Internet is truly amazing. You can actually make money by simply viewing ads. :D

If you want to sign up for this, just click on this link. So you can also start earning.

I have made Mrs. Fields Cafe in Trinoma my unofficial office. Heheh. It's like I've been here for three straight days for the week. Their coffee's pretty good and the place is cozy enough for me. I have already chosen my nook in the shop so even if I stay there for four hours, it doesn't matter. I haven't known their personnel yet. Maybe when if I hang out here in the next month or so, I will get to know them. The other day, I even got freebies--tickets for Metrobar and Punchline in Quezon City. Well, not bad! Mrs Fields Cafe's location is just right. It is near the theaters of Trinoma and I don't have to worry over a lot of people passing through here.

Their coffee is pretty good. Bitter enough for my taste. Although I could enjoy the same kind of brewed cofee at home courtesy of my coffee maker, I love the ambience of the Cafe and the Wi-Fi hotspot of course. Good thing, they have Airborne Access! I recently contacted Bayantel and they gave me a username and a password. It costs only P200 a month and the use is unlimited.

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My term with the United Methodist Youth Fellowship in the Philippines will end this coming June and I find myself wondering what I'm going to do with my life after that. Hmmm.... I might go back to the Corporate World and start climbing that slippery ladder once again. I've been that path before and I might be able to devote my wholehearted devotion to it. Or maybe, I could commit to become a Pastor of our church and put my head on the anvil and waith for the hammer to fall. hmmm.. Quite unlikely. I don't think I like the idea of working to please other people within the church. Besides, Cha won't like that. And I have reconciled with myself long ago that full-time local church ministry is not for me. Well, I gotta think of better options. I barely have 5 months to go. I might just go on with the kind of freelancing that I have. If it becomes sustainable, well and good. If it doesn't, then I'll call it quits and look for another path to embark on.

I can see my future clearly. Or at least the future up to June 2008. Beyond that... I have myself to depend on and God's help, of course.

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I need to get my own website. My blogs are becoming inadequate for the purposes that I want them for. Getting one isn't really costly but the burden of maintaining them may be a little high. I need to devote time in writing articles after articles and uploading pictures to make it attractive enough. Besides, I now consider myself as an online freelancer. That sounds pretty good sans the conceit. :D So I need to design my websiite in such a way to make it presentable and attractive. Ayokong ma-okray yun. heheh. I have contacted a web developer recently. So hopefully by next week, we'll start working on the website. Naku, katakut-takot na sulatan na naman to.

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My writing schedule was interrupted yesterday. Gosh. I was barely able to complete two articles. I did my laundry from 9:30 to 12 noon, attended a meeting from 1:30 to 3:00, wrote two articles from 4 to 5:30 and had another meeting from 6:00 to 10:00. Mah goodness!!! That was a pretty loaded day! After my meeting, I also had a gimmick night with Cha and some of her siblings and cousins. My night ended at 3am! Whew. I'm trying to be productive today although the day didn't start out really well because BayanDSL was having some problems--I couldn't open some websites including this blog!!! Grrr.. So I called once... and got frustrated. I called twice and I was told to wait for 24 hours till the problem gets fixed. Meanwhile, here I am sipping coffee, trying to appear sophisticated at Mrs. Fields and writing my 15-page project. Mah goodness!! Whew!

At least I got a pseudo-office at Trinoma. I even got a secretary serving coffee! Too bad, my secretary's service is limited to serving coffee!!


Well, well, well. I gotta work now and catch up with my projects!

I am seriously thinking of migrating my blog to another blog platform because blogdrive has neither RSS nor Atom feed. In addition to that, some of the features of blogdrive are a little outdated for Web 2.0. Maybe I'll give it another two months or so. If I ain't content, I will migrate to either Wordpress or Blogger. I'm just hesitant to migrate because this blog has already earned Pagerank 2. Nonetheless, I can earn that again if needs be.

Let the countdown begin! 

Although I have Internet at the apartment, I can't help but feel the need to go out. Malay ko ba kung may mundo pa sa labas! Sometimes, I feel glad that I am free from the clutches of greedy capitalists. But there are also times that I lament my lack of social life apart from my Church and my youth group.

Earlier today, I felt constricted just being inside the apartment. Besides, I was afraid that I would fall asleep this afternoon for three hours again. Uh-oh. That's bad for my projects. I have a lot of projects today that I cannot afford to sleep in the afternoon for a long time. That is why, I decided to get out.

With my laptop, I went to one of favorite cafes in North Quezon City--Mrs. Fields Cookie Cafe at Trinoma. I don't really order a lot because the cookies are a little too pricey for my impoverished wallet.

I decided to get a medium-size Brewed Coffee. Hhmmm... I just love brewed coffee, especially when I am in a mall. heheh. I also have brewed coffee at home but I love the ambience here. If I could only recreate this ambience at home, then I might not have to go out here to write and save P85 on a medium-sized brewed coffee. Perhaps i should work on transforming the ambience of the apartment. My friend Earlie is suffering from some kind of gastrointestinal trouble. Too bad, she can't enjoy coffee anymore. hehehe.

I managed to complete several writing projects that I have, although there are still more. I just wish I could accomplish more before the person I will be meeting arrives.

After the meeting, I will wait for Cha, my girlfriend, so that we can watch a movie together. It's been ages ago since I've watched a movie. I'm gonna check "In the Name of the King" if it's a good epic movie to watch.

The cash flows have not been very good this month. I felt like I was beginning to be a pauper. At least, the due dates of my bills have not yet arrived. Whew. In that case, I might have to ask for foreign aid from my parents. So here I am inside the house. I put my behind on my usual seat and bang away at the keyboard to churn out articles after articles so that the money money money would come pouring in again.

It's almost eleven in the morning and I have already completed seven 400-word articles. My goodness. My mind is going numb. I feel like I need a drink. I need to jolt my senses awake after this. Whew. I still need to complete several articles. I reckon, I have a long to-do list today. But I don't bother to look at it. At least not yet. I'm enjoying writing this piece. Besides, I deserve a breather. Seven articles in 1.5 hours. Goodness! That was like squeezing my brains out.

I need to write 18 articles more. Whew... I'll just grab a cup of coffee then write like crazy.

As a freelancer, I have to look after my dealings with government offices. I recently had a frustrating experience with two government offices. At least, I learned two things.

I. Auto-Debit Arrangement for SSS Contributions

With the Auto-Debit Arrangement form in my bag, I found my way towards the SSS office in Cubao. It would be my second trip to their office in two weeks’ time. The first time we went there, I was told that I can go to my bank to arrange the auto-debit. I did. The officers at BPI Sto. Domingo, however, told me that SSS will take care of that for me. Fine. I was willing to let it go because they explained that the merchant (SSS) should be the one making the request to debit money from my bank account.

The SSS office appeared closed because the metal shutters were pulled down on the building windows. But it was open. Fortunately, my lack of sleep did not keep me from stumbling or swooning from the heat of the sun. The sky was overcast, which was a good thing, and held the promise of rain.

There were a few people inside the office unlike the first time I went there two weeks ago. The lady at Counter 5 took my form and exclaimed surprise as if it were the first time she ever saw that form. She directed me to the front desk. The lady there motioned me to go to the Counseling Desk, which I did.

Horrors of horrors! I was told to go back to the bank! “But I’ve been there,” I answered with a touch of defiance in my voice, “and the bank told me to go back to you.” He took the forms and studied them. After deciding that it was indeed their responsibility to handle such requests, he told me I needed to photocopy two valid ID’s and a proof that the account number truly belongs to me.

Dang. I felt my blood stirring to a boil. Like mercury going up in the armpits of a feverish boy.

They didn’t tell me about those requirements the first time I went there and the information was not in their website either! How many times should I go back just to get something done?

Once? Definitely not! Twice? Doubtful! Thrice? Maybe… I sure hope they can get my auto debit done the next time I go there, which might be late February.

But all I wanted to do that day and time was to gloat in my frustration towards this government office. I am already a freelancer and I want to make sure that I continue my contributions to the SSS. But why should it become that difficult? Talk about efficient public administration!

I very well know that this is also the case in other government offices. If you, dear reader, knew of an efficient and fast-serving government office, please let me know and we will praise such a government agency.

Part II. Getting a Cedula from City Hall

I tried to cool down as I traversed EDSA to board a bus bound to the City Hall. I needed a cedula or community tax certificate because the next day, I will sign a contract as a freelance editor.

The Quezon City hall was still bustling with life even at four in the afternoon. I asked around to understand how to go about the process. There was a booth in the middle of the quadrangle where people loitered. Apparently, somebody wearing a blue collared shirt can help provide the application form there.

I completed the form and headed to the person issuing the CTC/cedula. He was a bespectacled man in his forties who had the look of having dealt with more than a hundred persons the whole day. He took the form from me and started scribbling the information down on the form. After a while, he asked how much I earned in a year. I gave him the figure and I had to pay PhP 137.

Not too bad, it was pretty quick. The problem was, I gave him PhP 140 and he flatly told me he has no change! After my experience at SSS, here comes another government office nightmare. People do not give back your change! I mean, that’s just 3 pesos man. But if that person dealt with 200 people that day and he did not give out 3-peso change to all of them, he can keep P600 for himself!

Dang! I just shook my head in frustration and consoled myself that hey, the City Hall owes me P3.

I went to Trinoma after that and tried to cool my head off, but apparently, as my girlfriend experienced, it takes time before government frustration rubs off me. I just learned that one sure way to ruin your day is to transact with a government office. Prove me wrong if you can!

At least I’ve learned two lessons that day:

1. Check all requirements before going to a government office, especially SSS. Check the website and call before leaving your house.
2. Bring coins and spare change when you pay your CTC/cedula or when you pay anything at all.

These are parts of the hazards of being a freelancer. I no longer have an employer to take care of such things for me. I am also going to file my income tax return by February. That would also be an interesting blog post.

So much for good governance!

At last I’m back to the place where I grew up. The deep blue sky looks down on this patch of land. The clouds are shy so they would rather be in the outskirts of the deep blue sky. Fresh air. I miss breathing it. Except for the neighbor’s barking dog and the sound from my laptop’s speakers, it is so quiet here—so quiet that I can hear my own heartbeat.

 

I miss the quiet. Amid my lifestyle in the city, I have no chance to be quiet, no chance to revel in this kind of tranquility.

 

I hear the chirps of birds—what they are I do not recognize. I hear chickens coo and cluck, perhaps tending their young. The lot next to our house is a vacant one. Two brown cows are grazing under the relentless heat of the afternoon. One is tied on a cement post and the other on a tamarind tree.

 

I wonder how they could graze on this lot when there are more sand and gravel than cow-edible grass. My cousins from the countryside once told me that cows can endure the heat of the sun all-day long. Two men brought grass to one of the cows. The cow thankfully ingests the food brought to it. One of the men now brings food to the other cow. These cows must be thankful to their masters for the food brought to them. Under the heat of the sun in this quiet afternoon, the cows enjoy their food.

 

I wonder how I look like to my neighbors here in San Manuel. With my laptop blaring what might seem like noise to them. Really, my laptop here appears to be severely out of place. I feel out of place.

 

The leaves of the coconuts in our yard do not stir. There’s no breeze to set them off. Two of these coconuts already have fruits on them. The others are in bloom, if coconuts could be said to be in bloom. The ground orchids of my mom are also flowering. The very soil seems to be full of life—life that it imparts with the plants and the flowers growing on it. Flowers blossom and blooms fully till they use up the life shared with them. At least they did they share of bringing beauty to our house, to the world. Beauty is always fleeting.

 

My city life is full of noise—a far cry from what I have here in the province. If there were a way for me to recreate this peace and quiet in the city, I would take it.

 

Time stands still in my own little world here at San Manuel. Time doesn’t chase me here with the endless barrage of deadlines I have to deal with in the city. I could just lie down here all day and not worry about anything at all. That’s what vacations are supposed to be—nothing for me to do and nothing for me to worry about. I haven’t done this for like three years straight. I have went home before but only because I just need to attend a gathering here and there. Well, at least I have got this chance to take my vacation. Time stands still and I’m enjoying it so far.

 

I got four days more before I go back to the city. I hope to recharge my creative spirits till then.

The freelancer’s life is great. I get to surf the net all day and read about other people’s blog while pretending to work on my writing projects. I have quite a few clients that I am writing for. Some of them are in the Philippines but more often, they are abroad. Truth be told, I’ve never been happier.

My boss is the guy I always encounter right in front of the mirror. I always have the option of hitting the snooze button and dozing off till mid-morning. In other instances, I prefer letting go of sleep just to complete the projects I’m working on. I also get to devote more time with the United Methodist Youth Fellowship. I just fear though that in the very near future, I might just wake up one day and find myself at the seminary. Heaven forbid!

I do not suffer from financial problems too. I can pay my phone bills, my share in the apartment, and spare some money to give to my parents. I can still go to coffee shops and enjoy some of the luxuries of being a city dweller. It’s great!

Really. It’s perfect! Well… Almost.

When 2007 called it quits and 2008 entered the scene, I should have started pounding on my laptop’s keyboard and churned as many articles as I could. But no! I’ve been wondering since last week what could possible by wrong. Could it be writer’s block? Could it be I’m bored? Feeling constrained by the four corners of the apartment where I’m staying everyday of my life? Perhaps I miss the feeling of commuting to work and enjoying an “enforced” social life, talking to people—those that I like and those that are not.  

I enjoy solitude a little too much that I tend to neglect my need of other people. This came as a realization a few years ago. Right now, I have my housemates to help me keep my sanity. And I don’t really mind staying home the whole day. But if you do it everyday, it gets to you and maybe I’m showing signs of becoming neurotic. Or psychotic. Whatever!

I know this for sure because the level of my writing output for the first half of January is dismal. Lamentable. Utterly miserable. I wonder how I will ever get through the month of February. I’ve also had tardy submissions. Ugh. Shameful! How can I be successful in this business if I continue being like this?

It’s no good berating myself! I did rather well in December but I was under pressure to do so because of the extreme busyness that the holiday season brought. I guess I’m still reeling from my holiday fever and it takes me some time to pick up steam and work… work….work! I need a break! I want to go home. I want to set my eyes on my hometown’s green fields and enjoy a break from my routine.

I’m going crazy. I have even contemplated getting a call center job again. A part-time job at least so I can have the semblance of a social life again and a normal life at that. Maybe that’s what I want. Maybe not. Maybe I just need a break. I’ll get my break this week.

Dealing with a Freelancer’s Alone-ness

On a more serious note, as a freelancer, I would have to deal with the difficulties of being alone. Being a writer is essentially a lonely job. So said my fave Christian author Philip Yancey. I agree. Not that I am already a writer. At least I am trying to be one. I love solitude. I’ve said gazillion times already. But I could never deny that I need other people—for conversations, for intellectual battles and discussions, and even the simple reminder that there is a world out there… that I’m not alone in whatever I am going through. Being alone makes you forget that sometimes.

I have chosen this life. I still have a number of projects—some of them are really big it would take me time to complete them. But I love this work now. I love my job even if it makes me painfully aware of my alone-ness most of the time. I’ve been in this freelance business since October and I’m still adjusting in my chosen career path. I dunno where exactly this path will lead me but I know it’s not gonna be the skid row. The road I’ve taken is a lot like the roads going to Novaliches—full of holes and bulldozers along the way but in time, I will get the hang of it and make it big.

That’s my dream though. I’m still wrestling with my alone-ness, maybe bordering on madness. So for tonight, I’m taking the last trip to Isabela and set my eyes on the green fields of my home town and breathe the fresh air and renew my creative spirits.

Agpakadaak pay. Puli na. Sayonara. I’m going home.